By Rick Karlin

Contributing writer

Smokin’ T’s Bar-B-Que
3976 Route 22, Long Grove
(847) 726 - 0726
smokingtsbbq.com

On Facebook there are always these little quizzes; “Which Brady are you?” or “What film diva are you?” Well, if there were one called “Which TV sitcom are you?” I would guess that I’d end up as “Green Acres.” Except that my husband and I would both want to be Lisa Douglas. Yes, I’m a certified city boy (or girl, depending on my mood that day.)

But I also love my sister, so I bite the bullet and head out to the far northwest ‘burbs to spend time with her and her adorable nuclear family from time to time. Now, I know that gay folks live in the suburbs, but my gaydar must just go on the fritz when I cross the city limits. Get me out of the city and I feel like a bull dyke in a china shop—completely out of place.

I tend to dislike the suburbs because there’s such a preponderance of chain stores in miles of malls. That’s especially true of restaurants. It’s hard to find a restaurant in the ‘burbs that isn’t a chain or aspires to be. That’s the case with Smokin’ T’s Bar-B-Que in Long Grove. But, if you can get past the prepackaged feeling, there’s some seriously good ‘cue to be had.

The T’s or Ts in question (can’t tell if you mean the plural or possesive, you might not need that apostrophe) in question are Todd Stoner and Tom Gescheidle, both Culinary Institute of America graduates who come from families with a long history in the food business. At a wedding in Texas they discovered a shared passion for barbeque and made a commitment to each other. Being straight guys, that commitment was that they would someday have their own barbeque restaurant. Their slogan is “We cook it slow, you get it fast.” 

The place is no frills, head up to the counter, place your order and wait for your number to be called. There are just a few tables, and a lot of their business seems to be carryout. It‘s probably just as well, because this is food that should be eaten in private. It’s the kind of vittles that makes you tend to snort and slurp and make yummy noises. The meat is served naked and there are a variety of sauces on the table for you to try. I preferred the sweet and spicy, while my sister liked the classic; neither of us cared for the mustard based North Carolina sauce.

If you want to dabble, you can opt for the sandwiches, all served with spicy sweet pickles and a nondescript bun that serves its purpose—to support some serious meat. Among the options are classic pulled pork or chicken and smoked turkey, all about seven bucks each. The slightly Black Angus beef short rib sandwich is a couple bucks more and not worth it. Stick with the basics or try the “Slider Sampler,” smaller versions of the pulled meat barbecues, if you want variety, for $10.

The real eatin’ comes with the platters. T’s ribs are St. Louis style, and run $15 for a half slab, $21 for a full. Pulled pork is a real bargain at $11 and the half chicken is plump and more than enough for two to share for $13. Speaking of sharing, that’s what the combo platters are for. You can order the combos with two to four meats of your choice, so if you end up liking the pricier short ribs, there’s a real bargain to be had. All platters come with a choice of two sides and range from $18 for a two-meat order to $24 for four-meats. Two of us shared a three meat platter and took about half of it home.

Most barbecue spots don’t have much for vegetarians, but the side dishes at T’s are good enough to enjoy as a meal. Forget the slaw and fries, they’re good enough, but the real stars are the creamy, rich corn pudding, velvety mac and cheese and slightly spicy corn bread muffins. The baked beans are good, but didn’t appear to be vegetarian. The desserts are listed on the menu as “Happy Endings” with no touch of irony. But, I can’t imagine someone wanting more food after a serious meal of ‘cue as good as this.

The Bottom Line: You should be able to fill up for less than $15 a person. Keeping in line with a suburban experience, the address listed doesn’t show up on GPS. You’ll need to know that Smokin T’s is in the strip mall at the corner of 22 and Old McHenry Road.